Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
