You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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