im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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