Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
