I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
