this beer tastes like vomit already
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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