She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
