Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
