Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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