Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
