Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
