I will die if light touches me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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