I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
