i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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