i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
