The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
