haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
