id be glad to
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
