Nicole vs. Life
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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