At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love you. Go after that dick
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
