Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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