I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
there is glitter all over my balls
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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