Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
