Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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