I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
