epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
