Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
