I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
