Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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