After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
