fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She needs sedatives and a leash
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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