Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
