and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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