I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
