Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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