just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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