all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
