Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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