dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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