I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
