i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
