Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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