Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
