Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
