I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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