There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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