he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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