I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
