I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
how drunk are you?
Several
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
