Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
