I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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