Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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